Yesterday's Weddings

The Etiquette of Weddings

Published in Woman's World Magazine - 1911

by Julie Bottomley

A wedding ceremony is performed in church or in the home of the bride or in that of one of her near relatives.  If nothing stands in the way the church is best choice.  After the ceremony the bride's family entertains that of the groom and such friends of both contracting parties as they choose to invite.  For a reception in the bride's home provision is made for refreshments.  Recently, for large weddings, hotels have been much in favor for the wedding - breakfast or reception.

The family of the bride provides the decorations for church and house and gives the reception.  Carriages for the wedding party and all other requirements, except those specified for the groom, are provided by the bride's family.

It is customary for the bride to present each of her maids with some memento of the occasion, such as the made flower wreathes or other coiffure ornament which they may wear, or a lace scarf or handkerchief.

Maids furnish their own costumes and all  dress exactly alike.  The maid or matron of honor usually wears a costume of the same material and color as those of the maids, but made differently.  She may wear white, like the bride or white over the color worn by the bridesmaids.

Church and House Decorations

The church and house are decorated with greenery and flowers. In the church the windows and alter are adorned in this way.  Flowers in white or in white and one color are chosen.

Morning weddings take place before 1 o'clock and are followed by a wedding breakfast. Afternoon and evening weddings are followed by a reception at which guests are served at small decorated tables or they may be seated about the room and served from a large table.

The groom provides bouquets for the maids, matron or maid of honor and the bride's bouquet.

The groom presents his bride with a piece of jewelry or several pieces, one of which is usually worn at the ceremony; hence pearls are the favored jewels for weddings. Each of the attendants (that is, bridesmaids, maid of honor and ushers) receivers a small well made piece of jewelry from him.  Those for the ladies are usually little brooches or chain and pendant. They are all alike. The ushers usually receive a stickpin.

The "Best Man"

The best man attends to details for the groom, goes with him for the marriage license, orders the carriage to take them to the church, takes charge of the ring until just before the ceremony, enters the church at the entrance near the altar with the groom, and with him awaits the bride and her party at the altar. He attends to handling the clergyman his fee and escorts the maid of honor from the church after the ceremony.

The Ushers

The ushers are selected from among friends of both bride and groom.  They arrive at the church thirty minutes, at the least, before the time set for the wedding and seat the guests. The front pews near the altar are reserved for the families of the bride and the groom.  The bride's people sit at the left of the main aisle facing the altar, and those of the groom at the right side.  A broad white ribbon is stretched across the aisle to reserve these seats until their occupants arrive; or the ribbon may be placed at the entrance of the pews, which is preferable.  If a lady arrives at the church alone, an usher offers her his arm and escorts her to a seat.  I f several enter together, he takes two at the same time, offering an arm to each.

After all the guests are seated, the ushers assemble in the vestry to await the bridal party. One of them signals the organist when the wedding procession is ready to walk to the altar, and the wedding march is begun.  The party now moves deliberately up the center aisle.  The ushers precede the bride's party up the aisle, walking in pairs.  The maid or matron 0f honor comes after the maids, preceding the bride who enters on her father's arm or the arm of her nearest male relative.  The father stands at his daughter's side until the minister asks: "Who gives the bride to be married?"  He responds: "I do," placing the bride's hand in that of the minister, who in turn places it in that of the groom.  The father steps back and at the offering of prayers steps to the first pew with his wife.  Immediately after the ceremony he and his wife leave the church and drive directly home to welcome the newly wedded pair.

The Maid of Honor

The maid of honor, so often a matron of honor, stands at the bride's side removes the bride's glove from her hand at the time the ring is to be placed and removes the veil if one is worn, or throws it back from the face.  She leaves the church about five minutes before the bridal party. By that time every guest should be seated.

As to Clothes

For a day wedding, and since a recent period, for all church weddings, gentlemen wear Prince Albert coats, white ties, white or pearl gray gloves and silk hats.  In the morning gray trousers and pearl gray gloves.  For house weddings after 6 o'clock they wear evening dress. Guests at church only are privileged to wear either Prince Albert's or dark suits with white ties.

Members of the family or family connections in mourning should discard black for the ceremony and wear gray or purple in quiet shades.

Fashion decrees for the bride a wedding gown of supple material, made of silk or silk and another material woven together, unless she elects to be married in a cloth gown for going away. The regulation wedding gown has high neck and long sleeves. Her veil of tulle or of lace is fastened in the hair with orange blossoms. She carries a bridal bouquet of white flowers. A widow marrying a second time wears a visiting gown and hat and is attended only by a maid or matron of honor and may dispense with any attendant except for the ushers.

The wedding invitations are to be engraved in heavy white paper, each enclosed in an envelope bearing the name of the person to whom it goes.  It is then enclosed in a second envelope bearing the name and address and is dispatched two weeks before the wedding day.

Presents are sent to the home of the bride before the wedding day.

The bride retains her gloves during her reception. If married in a traveling gown and hat, she retains her hat, removing her jacket and gloves for the wedding breakfast.

When a widow marries, invitations are sent to the relatives of her first husband, and they are treated with much attention.

Announcement of a wedding should be sent immediately after the ceremony.  These are used where no formal wedding is attempted. A quiet home wedding is often necessary for many reasons. Only members of the immediate families of bride and groom attend, and no entertaining outside this circle is done.  For such wedding, cards announce to friends the event.  They are engraved and are furnished by the groom.

Where a family has been bereaved of a member, no elaborate wedding can properly be given another member within a year. A very quiet home wedding is proper at any time.